1. |
Wanna Get Drunk
02:37
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laying on the kitchen floor
asking for forgiveness
hoping there is something more
put faith in, become weightless
its the things i never said
that bring me down to turn away
its the lives i've let on down
that lead me ashtray
I wanna get drunk
don't wanna get drunk
I wanna find love
don't wanna find love
how do i open up from here?
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2. |
Dobro Interlude
01:48
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i disappointed
someone that i love
god i hurt them bad
i couldn't help myself
i've been working towards
being open and
sharing my whole heart
i'm just not there yet
i'm not asking for everything at once
i'm just wishing
for a craftsman home
somewhere we both love
just you and your books
you are the only one
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3. |
Dugout
01:54
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i was a nervous driver
rich kid, big home, loving father
drink the poison tastes like almonds
someday ill be a big kid and
ill feel like a fish in water
float downstream, burn all the corners
race-car driver / selfish-lover
rubber on my skin, on your skin
sweat drips down your back and puddles
slick to touch but tastes like summer
lock my legs inside the holler
someday ill come so hard that ill break
someday ill come so hard that i break
someday ill come so hard that i
break my nails, my holy spirit
kudzu-covered, strangled and bent
fucking me inside the dugout
sunflower seeds and some peeling paint
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4. |
Hideaway
02:27
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black coffee reminds me of my grandma
when the daylight darkened my skin
fish swam by in the lake, brushed my ankles
and the water made me clean again
i'm hiding away with her
in East Texas
every summer
i'm hiding away with her
in East Texas
every summer
at camp grandma
plate dinners on styrofoam
fried catfish and hot white beans
playing bingo at the community center
with Betty Bopson and me
feel like i'm back there all the time and
i remember everything
not much else for the rest of my childhood
but i've been talking to my therapist about what that means
i'm hiding out with her
in East Texas
every summer
i'm hiding out with her
in East Texas
every summer
at camp grandma
at camp grandma
at camp grandma
at camp grandma
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5. |
Tell U What
01:45
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ill tell u what
i'm not doing too well
cant fall asleep without a little NyQuil
that or the TV on and the sounds of rainfall
my daydreams haven't changed
but i hardly feel the same
picture myself one day
don't know if ill get there
ill tell u what
i'm not doing too well
when everdays another reminder
snooze thru all my alarms
and shake at the sound of thunder
the grief it doesn't fade
it just ebbs and flows and waits
when i think i am ok
thats when all the tears come
i cry in my car
every single day
just wanna feel okay
but i biked by your house
without crying today
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6. |
Debutant
01:42
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i'm Tennessee's favorite daughter
my left sides darker like a trucker
i see everything
feel everything
drowned the fire alarm in the sink
Strawberry Wine on the stereo
my wheels move thru time and i watch them go
draw a lavender bath and ill just lay back
i'm a debutant in the summer
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7. |
Parkway
03:02
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lately i've been thinking
i've been selfish
i've been dumb
i've made mistakes
i've missed birthdays
was i bad friend all along?
wait
wait on a good day
but a good day
just wont come
you flew
flew like lightning
eyes closed down the parkway
you said 'here i come'
& 'don't pass me by'
lately i've been thinking
you pissed away so much fun
you've missed drunk days
the Tennessee way
i just wish that you weren't gone
so i lay
lay in the bathtub
think of your laugh
and your dog
i lie
i snort / i fuck things
with all this grief
ive come undone
wish i could ask you why
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8. |
Boones Farm Wine
03:27
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if we grew up in a different time
AMC Ramblers & Boones Farm Wine
could this old flame reappear?
from cold war fears so severe we embrace
before its late
but i just keep leading you on
and i think til the words are all gone
and when i look into those cavern eyes
pray to god that i can memorize
your face before its too late
if i saw you in the communion line
could we meet up in post absolution light?
get drunk off all the altar wine
you stay yours and ill stay mine
i never pray until its too late
but i just keep leading you on
and i think til the words are all gone
and when i look into those cavern eyes
pray to god that i can memorize
your face before its too late
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9. |
Riverboat
04:13
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i don't wanna go
to that dance u know
i just wanna lie
lie, read and mope
and ill never be
what your mom wants me to be
i'm just a sad kid
with a darkness about me
im 17
and i'm dallas
waiting for my phone to ring
hoping somewhere somehow
i feel light
light as a feather
light as a floodlight
lighting up some dark cul-de-sac somewhere
i don't wanna go
on that riverboat
i just wanna lie
drink light beer and mope
and ill never be
what you want me to be
i'm just a sad kid
with a darkness about me
im 25
and i'm in nashville
waiting for my phone to ring
hoping somehow somewhere
i feel light
light as a feather
light as a floodlight
lighting up some darkened cul-de-sac somewhere
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10. |
Pieced Together Again
01:37
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the times i took
time to look
and see whats all around me
the air blew together
and i pieced together again
but things build on others
i'm just another lost and worried man
about you every now and then
its not easy for me anymore
its not easy for me
i cant look in your eyes
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11. |
Staring At A Screen
02:19
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when i'm all forgotten
and my grass stained jeans
aren't my grass stained anymore
i think that ill fall
when i'm all forgotten
and my internet search history's
not my internet search history no more
i spend all day staring at a screen
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12. |
River
03:45
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I was tossed in the river before i drowned
hoping something somewhere
might be bring me back to dry ground
were all so miserable but all hospitable
i'm todays pain might be tomorrows back way out
i was lost like a sinner before we were here
swimming through these baptismal waters
lost, i still have fears
i miss your hair
your distant eyes
underwear down at your thighs
yeah, you're prettier than me
i lie myself silly somedays
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13. |
Savannah
02:27
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you create a world where fidelity exists
from your cold hands to your never forget me lips
us, built up from one living room kiss
in September when you left and left all this
i will drive onto Savannah
not stop til i'm with you
in your apartment under fluorescents
our lived led anew
when i drive into Savannah
with only you on my mind
will you appear from the static?
gorgeous and refined
lost, left in a town stuck in the past
these days constant highs, my red eyes wont being you back
without you this all feels like mustard gas
tonight the promises, phone calls, love notes will last
i will drive onto Savannah
not stop til i'm with you
in your apartment under fluorescents
our lived led anew
when i drive into Savannah
with only you on my mind
will you appear from the static?
gorgeous and refined
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14. |
Somewhere Far Away
03:37
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somewhere far away
somewhere where i can catch my breath
i get so worked up lately
i get worked up and i cant catch my breath
but lord
i've been trying real hard
and he said 'ben,
its just the way you are'
i miss the way we looked when we were 17
i miss the way it took 2 drinks to feel like thats all i need
i miss the way the floodlights lit up your backyard
i miss the way that it felt just driving in your car
somewhere far away
somewhere where i can catch my breath
the city takes my breath away
it moves so fast and i cant catch my breath
and lord
i've been trying real hard
he said 'ben,
its just the way you are'
lord
i've been trying real hard
i forget
its just the way things are
i like my life until i look at it under a lens
then i feel bad again
I miss the vodka in a gatorade bottle
i miss sneaking out late before Easter Sunday
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Bendrix Littleton Nashville, Tennessee
Bendrix Littleton is the writing and recording project of Dallas musician / producer Bennett Littlejohn.
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